| of our marriages are arranged in the traditional | | | | or gold which she will take if he divorce her or he |
| way (i.e., not after a love story). When a man | | | | dies. This is usually done in court and some |
| sees a woman and he likes her form the first | | | | families bring the judge to the house of the bride |
| sight he tells his mother about her and his family | | | | where more traditional ceremonies can take place. |
| starts to ask about her family and start to work | | | | For Sunnis the bride wear a white dress or |
| like a detective and if they match with the groom | | | | Jallabyia, a tradition Arabic cloth, and in front of |
| family socially and economically and in other things | | | | her they put seven cups, containing different |
| they agree about her. His mother goes to the | | | | kinds of white things like sugar, yoghurt, cream, (I |
| bride house and asks for her hand on his behalf | | | | don't remember the others!) and honey. Also they |
| from her mother and gives her all the information | | | | put the holy Quran and a mirror. (Don't ask me |
| about her son and the family, so the bride family | | | | why because I don't know) but I think it’s |
| will start to do the same thing that the groom's | | | | traditions only and the people like to make it. |
| has done but this time, in opposite direction. And if | | | | Usually the judge asks the bride personally if she |
| they agree they call the groom's house and ask | | | | agrees to marry this man by saying a long |
| the groom to come with his mother. Some | | | | traditional speech and he repeats it for three |
| families let the bride sit with the future groom | | | | times (I don't know why) and then the bride says |
| alone and let them get introduced to each other | | | | Yes. And then return to the groom but he asks |
| and talk alone about themselves, if they both | | | | him only once! When the judge asked me if I |
| agree about each other they will go to the next | | | | agreed to marry my husband no body told me I |
| step and if one of them did not like the other | | | | should wait before answering yes, so after he |
| very much they will separate. Also many still | | | | asked me the first time I said yes, then he |
| prefer the marriage between relatives, like cousins | | | | started to repeat it again and again after he |
| especially in small towns and villages. | | | | finished I did not answer him because I thought |
| The traditions I'm talking about are in the cities | | | | he will talk again.:) |
| not villages. The first thing to do after the initial | | | | For shias : those details I'm going to give you is |
| agreement is called ‘Mashaiya’ in | | | | from what I saw when I was invited to some |
| which the groom's family bring the older person in | | | | parties: the bride wears a white nightgown and |
| their family with a number of relatives and friends | | | | they also put in front of her the seven whites |
| all just men and go to the Bride father who also | | | | besides a big plate with different kind of spices |
| brings all his relatives and friends all men and sit | | | | decorated in a very nice way, and they bring a |
| together to get introduced to each other and in | | | | shia's cleric instead of the judge and while he asks |
| this party the older person in the groom's side | | | | her, two women stand holding a piece of white |
| make a speech asking for the bride’s | | | | cloth above her head and a third woman start to |
| hand from her father, the father makes another | | | | sprinkle white sugar above her head to that piece |
| speech saying yes, then juice and deserts are | | | | of cloth, her feet are put in water with some |
| serviced at once and after they finish, everybody | | | | dried flowers in it. In the party I attended, the |
| leaves home. This party is very short and almost | | | | cleric asked the bride 40 times before she said |
| lasts for an hour only. | | | | yes, but as they told me some repeated about |
| Then comes the engagement party, in which the | | | | 15 times. Then after tying the nut, comes the |
| bride and the groom exchanged rings, he buys | | | | ‘Nishan’ which is another party |
| the bride a ring and she buys his ring, the party | | | | held by the bride family either in their house or a |
| engagement party is made by the bride’s | | | | hotel if the house is very small. In this party the |
| family, and usually is attended by close relatives | | | | groom's family gives the bride jewelry from gold |
| only from both sides, some times if the house is | | | | or diamond depending on their wealth and the |
| too small only women attend the party beside | | | | groom starts to put it on her, while every one |
| the groom of course. | | | | dance and sing. Before the wedding day in one |
| There is a limit in the relation between the man | | | | night there is also a small party held in the house |
| and woman in their engagement period (I don't | | | | of the bride and the groom as well separately, he |
| want to go so far with this) So there is another | | | | invites his friends (like the bachelor party but with |
| step and this is (tying the nut) this is the exact | | | | no stripper! Some of the men might bring |
| translation to the Iraqis language where the couple | | | | traditional dancers.) and she invites her friends. |
| become legally married in court but they still | | | | After all both parties have ‘Hinna’ |
| don’t get to live together. In this contract | | | | to be put on the guests hands. |
| the man usually writes her some kind of money | | | | |