| Regardless of how well we get along with others, | | | | positive aspect, how will they learn to |
| the time will come when we disagree. It is just a | | | | appropriately deal with conflicts? Conflicts in life |
| simple fact of life. The question becomes: the | | | | are a given. What we do with conflict is a choice. |
| example we set. | | | | When a disagreement is arising, make a mental |
| Fighting starts very young, unless you are an only | | | | decision to fight fairly. Show your children that |
| child. Early on in life, we decide we do not want to | | | | there are peaceful and loving ways to resolve |
| share. We also have a habit of wanting to take | | | | differences of opinions. Listen to what the other |
| away what others have. As our vocabulary skills | | | | person is saying, repeat back what you heard, |
| improve, we may decide to say unkind words or | | | | maintain a calm voice, never use foul language or |
| others may share their less than loving thoughts. | | | | call each other names and ALWAYS stay |
| Occasionally accidents happen and we don't | | | | respectful. |
| always show the patience that would be normal | | | | At the end of the quarrel, if both parties stayed |
| for that particular situation. Disappointment isn't | | | | courteous, compromised, and found a peaceful |
| high on our "oh, that is okay" mind-set either. We | | | | resolution, the children just learned an extremely |
| tend to act it out before the words form. | | | | valuable lesson. |
| And, those moments are just the beginning of | | | | We want our children to sometimes shake things |
| our learning curve of disagreements. | | | | off. At other times we want them to take up a |
| As we get older, it gets even more complicated~ | | | | cause. Yet we also want them to be willing to |
| Do you remember when we first started dating? | | | | compromise. But, the main thing we want is for |
| Okay, it was awhile ago but most of us can go | | | | the children to distinguish which situation requires |
| back in our memories. At first, everything was all | | | | which action. The only way young minds can sort |
| sweety-sweety. As we got to know that special | | | | through the rubble and be able to quickly |
| person in our lives, we realized that perfection | | | | determine a path is to have been a witness to or |
| was not a word we would use to describe them. | | | | a party of conflict. |
| At first, their habits were all cute. Shortly | | | | Of all of the lessons we are charged with, conflict |
| thereafter, those same habits were not only not | | | | resolution skills is of top priority. While our children |
| cute anymore, they were downright annoying! | | | | are young, we have their hearts, minds and |
| Hence, our first relationship fights began. | | | | attention primarily focused on us. We are their |
| So, where and when do we learn how to fight? | | | | primary source of role modeling. Whatever you |
| And, who needs to teach children that lesson? Of | | | | do, do not go behind those closed doors to fight it |
| course the answer is: Parents | | | | out (unless you are going to set a negative |
| The actual act of disagreeing is probably healthy | | | | example). Show the children how to fight fairly. |
| for your children. Think about it this way… | | | | That lesson will follow them for the rest of their |
| children learn from the examples that the adults in | | | | lives. |
| their lives set. If the children only ever see the | | | | |